Why is hitting a child wrong

Posted: May 28, See All Usable Knowledge Posts. Artboard 1. Harvard University. Linked In. Symbols Created with Sketch. Digital Accessibility Policy. Privacy Policy. Trademark Notice. Babies and toddlers are too young to understand that a consequence has happened because of something they did.

Managing your own feelings is an important part of creating a warm and loving family environment that helps your child behave well. If you can manage your own angry or frustrated feelings in positive and healthy ways — for example, by staying calm, taking a few deep breaths or even walking away — you give your child a great example of how to behave.

And if you feel like smacking your baby or child, put your child in a safe place — for example, a cot — or ask someone else to hold him for a while. Take some time out until you feel calmer. Try going to another room to breathe deeply or calling a family member or friend to talk things through.

News World Opinion Business. Share this —. Follow NBC News. By Maggie Fox. American Academy of Pediatrics strengthens stance against spanking Nov. Parents or other caregivers who repeatedly use spanking to control children enter into a lose-lose situation. Not only does the child lose respect for the parent, but the parents also lose out because they develop a spanking mindset and have fewer alternatives to spanking. The parent has fewer preplanned, experience-tested strategies to divert potential behavior, so the child misbehaves more, which calls for more spanking.

This child is not being taught to develop inner control. Hitting devalues the parent-child relationship. Corporal punishment puts a distance between the spanker and the spankee. This distance is especially troubling in home situations where the parent-child relationship may already be strained, such as single-parent homes or blended families.

Punishment escalates. A toddler reaches for a forbidden glass. You tap the hand as a reminder not to touch. He reaches again, you swat the hand. You hit the hand harder. What do you do now?

The danger of beginning corporal punishment in the first place is that you may feel you have to bring out bigger guns: your hand becomes a fist, the switch becomes a belt, the folded newspaper becomes a wooden spoon, and now what began as seemingly innocent escalates into child abuse. Punishment sets the stage for child abuse. Parents who are programmed to punish set themselves up for punishing harder, mainly because they have not learned alternatives and click immediately into the punishment mode when their child misbehaves.

Remember the basis for promoting desirable behavior: The child who feels right acts right. Spanking undermines this principle. A child who is hit feels wrong inside and this shows up in his behavior. The more he misbehaves, the more he gets spanked and the worse he feels.

The cycle continues. We want the child to know that he did wrong, and to feel remorse, but to still believe that he is a person who has value. One of the goals of disciplinary action is to stop the misbehavior immediately, and spanking may do that. Alternatives to spanking can be much more thought-and-conscience-provoking for a child, but they may take more time and energy from the parent.

There is confusion in the ranks of people of Judeo-Christian heritage who, seeking help from the Bible in their effort to raise godly children, believe that God commands them to spank. In our counseling experience, we find that these people are devoted parents who love God and love their children, but they misunderstand the concept of the rod. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death. At first glance, these verses may sound pro-spanking.

But you might consider a different interpretation of these teachings. The Hebrew dictionary gives this word various meanings: a stick for punishment, writing, fighting, ruling, walking, etc.